“Listening To What People Mean”
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"What my patients tell me and what their body tells me very often are two very different things."
This comment by my physio-therapist recently made me forget about my shoulder he was working on to rehabilitate. I swung round, dangled my legs over the table and asked him to elaborate. Why? Because the same thing happens very often when talking with people! When replying to a question, what people initially say is usually not what they mean or what is really happening.
He replied to my question by saying: "Well, as an example, I will ask a patient, 'Do you feel any discomfort or lack of mobility there?' while moving a part of the body the patient is concerned with. Many times the answer is no or very slight, except I know that's not true because I can feel and see the restriction." "So I move the same part on the opposite side of their body and ask if they can feel any difference between the two. Usually they can, and sometimes it's quite significant."
I asked him why that happens…
"One of the reasons is because over time they have gotten used to the discomfort. They physically compensate for it and it becomes normal. That is until something happens, and their physical discomfort, as well as their frustration over being partially immobilized, gets too much to bear. Then they come to me… And even then they're not initially aware just how much they have been compensating. They think it's going to be a quick fix."
He went on to say…
"So I have to let them discover for themselves the extent of their injury to allow them to realize that it's not always a 'quick fix'"
.It's the Same with Selling
The same thing can happen when you're asking people questions.
Asking a few "What" and even "Why" questions, very rarely gets to the deeper cause of peoples discomfort about their present circumstances when they reveal that things are not as they would like.
Here's the point: People make changes based MOSTLY on the depth of how they FEEL about their present circumstances not working for them… Not on the logic or fact of wanting a new car, bigger house, more money, getting out of their job or even wanting to stay at home to take care of the kids. If you go for the logic, you're in danger of going for a 'quick fix'… and you know what usually happens from experience… rejection, objections and/or a high attrition rate.
The first things people say are most often not what they mean, which is why the 3rd Principle: 'Natural Selling is listening to what is being meant, not just what is being said' is so important. This is where the Dialogue revolves… on what is behind what you're being told.
Clever person my physio-therapist!
Copyright, 2003, Michael Oliver, Natural Selling® Inc.
Reprint permission granted in part or whole when the following credit appears: "Reprinted with permission from Michael Oliver, Natural Selling® Sales Training
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